Thursday, September 1, 2011

Madge's Face Comes To The Venice Film Festival


As Madge's toy Baby Brahim searched the land for the missing shard of a magical crystal to sacrifice to the dark chamber inside her crotch so his soul can be released, his master made the flesh of Italian virgins shiver when she stepped out onto the red carpet at the photo call for her movie W.E. at the Venice Film Festival today. Sure, I can use this space to talk about the reviews so far (Basically, the critics say it's like a 10" peen that can't get hard. Pretty to look at but not worth fucking with.), but let's talk about more important things: LIKE MADGE'S FACE!
Sometimes Madge's face looks like a plate of baby butt cheeks sloppily wrapped in a sheet of overstretched wonton dough and other times it looks like it's starting to settle and has pores that breathe in oxygen with the rest of us. It's somewhere in between here.
I mean, if she opened her mouth I wouldn't expect to hear Jim Henson's voice, but then again I wouldn't put her face in the organic section of the grocery store. However, Madge's eyebrows win all the points. If you put them together, they'd look like a flying bird trying to turn right so that's a nice natural touch. I love it when hos pay homage to wildlife with their brows.
And I also love that Madge wore her best SERIOUS MOVIE DIRECTOR ENSEMBLE. Ho, that outfit is not going to make us forget that you're partly responsible for fucking Shanghai Surprise! NEVER FORGET. Besides, that outfit makes her look like the receptionist at a Catholic School who really wants to be a nun but just can't let go of the dick.