Tuesday, November 29, 2011

There's No Shame In Guy Ritchie's Gold Digging Game

When you look at that picture above, you will probably just assume that one of the devil talons on Madge's labia scratched at Guy Ritchie's eyeball as he worshiped the third eye on her crotch earlier in the day. But the truth is, Guy Richie is throwing us a subtle "I'm going to rob this granny blind" wink. Guy, who got at least $75 million from Madge in the divorce, talked to Details about his marriage with her and he pretty much kept his words on the nice side until he added a slight dig about the fortune she dropped on his gold digging shovel.
DETAILS: You married Madonna when you were still a fledgling director and she was the most famous woman in the world. What was that adjustment like?
Guy Ritchie: I don't know. By the way, I enjoyed my first marriage. It's definitely not something I regret. The experience was ultimately very positive. I love the kids that came out of it, and I could see no other route to take. But you move on, don't you? You're right, I stepped into a soap opera, and I lived in it for quite a long period of my life. I'll probably be more eloquent on it 10 years from now.
DETAILS: What did you learn from that marriage?
Guy Ritchie: When you end up with a lot of the things you set out to chase and find that you've stumbled into all sorts of hollow victories, then you become deeply philosophical. I'm quite happy that that experience was accelerated for me. I'm glad I made money, in other words. And I'm glad I got married.
"I'm glad I made money, in other words" is the new gold digging motto. I would say that quote is like a stab to Madge's chest, but her body is covered in thorny lizard armor so daggers don't penetrate and $75 million is just a mere dingle on the huge ass crack that is her checking account. But really, that quote should be said by every gold digger at every will reading or divorce settlement hearing they attend. When the judge awards them millions and asks for a final word, they should stand up and say, "A wise gold digger once said, 'I'm glad I made money, in other words." It's that beautiful.